Rembrandt, Return of the Prodigal Son, 1662
In my previous article, 3 Hard-Earned Lessons From Losing, I discussed concepts that can help you to deal more peacefully with losing a case. This article discusses what may be the hardest of all the lessons we learn from our losses: forgiveness.
Why Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is a process of letting go. Releasing our feelings of resentment, anger, and especially, self-righteousness is not as easy as it sounds. However, it is the only way to heal the wounds of our perceived losses.
If we can forgive those involved in our losses (clients, witnesses, judges, juries, or opposing counsel):
- We release negative emotions.
- We dictate how we felt about the loss.
- We are in control.
If we hang on to bitterness, anger and resentment:
- We can’t grow and move forward.
- These negative feelings handicap our ability to act with the courage we need. This courage comes from being in touch with our deepest spiritual values, and there is nothing more powerful than this.
- We become true winners.
How Do You Become a Real Winner?
Winners are not necessarily the people who walk away with victories. Being a real winner has to do with values.
- Winners have integrity.
- Winners have courage.
- Winners sometimes lose cases.
- Losers have arrogance when they win and bitterness when they lose.
The Role Materialism Plays in Winning
Materialism also affects who is a winner and who is a loser.
- Trial lawyers who are interested only in money have an exaggerated fear of losing. They don’t take the risk of trying a tough case because it may not be in the interest of their bottom line.
- Plaintiff attorneys who take on the cause of justice act out of courage. They are not afraid to take on powerful defendants. They are fearless Davids in the face of giant Goliaths. They are the real winners.
We must dedicate ourselves to the art of accepting our losses and being real winners. What tips do you have for accepting losses?
{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice sentiments and well written. Also, all true
Thank you, Michael.
Gary, you are giving your colleagues some important new paradigms to consider. Bless you!
I like the article format …
Thank you, Lucy. I appreciate your blessings.