As trial lawyers the desire to win is so deeply instilled in us that it is difficult to think about losing. We don’t want to talk about our losses. We only want to bask in the glory of our victories, no matter how large or small. However, any lawyer in litigation is going to have to deal with losses and will probably suffer many of them.
Lesson 1: Perseverance
We need to prepare to fight the next battle. We cannot allow losing to become such a huge bogeyman that it frightens us from trying our next tough case. Otherwise, our value as lawyers and human beings is diminished. We must be willing to take the next risk and try, try, and try again.
Lesson 2: Humility
Every time we win, or think we win, we get a little more puffed up with ourselves. Our ego grows, and we become more self-centered. It is easy to get involved in our cases and think that it is our win and not our client’s. We often think of our cases in self-centered ways. The moment of triumph in winning can so easily inflate our narcissistic egos that we lose sight of the importance of our victories, and the credit others deserve.
Lesson 3: Compassion
How often have we consoled a fellow attorney after a loss and told him or her not to take it so hard? We can empathize with that person. Our heart goes out to our colleague. And, yet, when we look at our own losses, we are usually harsh on ourselves. We do not extend to ourselves the same compassion that we extend to others. We blame ourselves and are rigidly unforgiving of our losses.
Maybe it’s time we begin to be a little easier on ourselves and recognize that losing isn’t the end of the world. Some of life’s greatest lessons come from these so-called losses. It is more important to accept our losses and learn from them than to bask in the glory of our wins, from which we often learn nothing.
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